diberjones

2003-05-06T18:32:00.000-05:00

in case you're wondering...I'm not going to post here anymore. I'm leaving hte link up for a little while and then I'll close the account.

2003-04-29T16:22:00.000-05:00

My new blog is here--please reset bookmarks accordingly. (I'm assuming that I have a reading audience) http://covblogs.com/diber

2003-04-29T09:44:00.000-05:00

Wow! I'm taking this rare opportunity during blogger is actually not freezing up my web browser or not signing me in properly to post. I'm going to be switching blogging software or server or whatever it is soon. Wow. Here I am actually able to write, but I don't have TIME! Yikes! I have two weeks of school and four papers left. Finals are a distant reality. I'm only going to get two papers done. I'm already preapproved to take incompletes in two other classes so I can write those papers! Great time with Herbert Kellman last week. He told me a lot about Roi Rene and Burgundy. Oh bother! I don't have time to write! Will check in later....

2003-04-19T16:53:00.000-05:00

Current papers in various degrees of definition and progress:

Stravinksy. The orchestration of the Rite of Spring as can be examined from a facsimile of the Sketchbook. Actually, what I think may be an interesting thesis (i'm still testing it) is that the compositional process took place at the piano, and what he wrote down on paper is evidence of the "orchestrational" process.
Historiographical essay. Comparing 5 monographs on topics of ritual, ceremonial, etc. in early modern (or Renaissance...or whatever imperfect word) Europe.
19th c. I'm thinking something along the lines of Wagner's gesamtkunstwerk being influenced by Hegelian idealism which was "in the air." Still exploring to see if this can be a viable or concrete avenue.
Josquin. All semester I've been leaning towards examing Josquin's and Brumel's Missae de Beata Virgine, since Glarean in Dodecachordon said they had been written in competition. But, I'm not all that taken with Josquin's Missa BVM...the questions aren't as interesting to me as say those surrounding his L'homme arme masses. So I think I may switch gears there.

Recent movies we've seen:

Thirteen Conversations about One Thing. Interesting narrative exercise. It reminded me of how I feel when I'm writing history...various avenues seemingly independent but get connected by a single thread.
Beijing Bicycle. Sort of a coming of age story of two Chinese teenage boys in Beijing. Interesting picture of contemporary Chinese life, customs, modes of interaction. In Chinese, subtitled.
Charlotte Gray. A chick drama (not really a chick flick, but one a girl would pick before a guy probably). Cate Blanchett plays a young British woman who becomes a spy in France in WWII.

Book rec that looked interesting from the AMS list: Decentering Music: A Critique of Contemporary Musical Research by Kevin Korsyn. Amazon review (for what it's worth...who writes reviews for Amazon anyway?) Book Description: As a work of cultural criticism that recalls the concerns of Foucault, Hayden White, Zizek, and others Decentering Music examines the struggle for the authority to speak about music at a time when the humanities are in crisis. By linking the institutions that support musical research, including professional associations and universities, to complex historical changes such as globalization and the commodification of knowledge, Korsyn undertakes a critique of musical scholarship as an institutional discourse, while contributing to a general theory of disciplinary structures that goes beyond the limits of any single field. In asking a number of fundamental questions about the models through which disciplinary objects in music are constructed, Korsyn suggests unexpected relationships between works of musical scholarship and the cultural networks in which they participate. Thus David Lewin's theory of musical perceptions is compared to Richard Rorty's concept of the "liberal ironist," Susan McClary's feminist narrative of music history is juxtaposed with T.S. Eliot's "dissociation of sensibility," and Steven Feld's work in recording the music of the Kaluli people is compared to the treatment of ambient sound in contemporary cinema. Developing a framework for interpretation in dialogue with a number of poststructuralist writers, Korsyn goes far beyond applying their thought to the analysis of music; by showing the cultural dilemmas to which their work responds, Korsyn suggests how musical research already participates in these ideas. Rather than impose any single method, Decentering Music empowers readers to choose for themselves by interrogating their own values and ideological commitments, exploring the enabling conditions for statements about music. By demonstrating the complicity of opposing positions and challenging readers to reexamine their own values, Decentering Music will surely provoke debate, while appealing to readers in a variety of fields, and to anyone concerned about the crisis in the humanities.

2003-04-18T10:05:00.000-05:00

A musicologist died tragically this week. It's kind of eerie and sad.

2003-04-17T22:13:00.000-05:00

I don't know what it up wiht internet explorer. It has been freezing all week everytime I go to the blogger site, totally hindering me from posting. Finally I had the bright idea of using Netscape, and that is much better. I've had plenty of things to say these past few days...I just haven't been able to. Argh. Good news...I finally took down the Christmas tree. I thought I better before Easter. And my garden is planted. Now I have to scrounge the will power to write papers.

2003-04-14T23:50:00.000-05:00

The blog thing is weird. J's blog links to someone who links B's blog...B and J are both links on my blog. Does everyone know each other!??! Okay...in order to be more like everyone else's blog...I'll change the format to list people not by their names, which I know them by...their personal connection to me...to their identity in blogdom...their title...that little quip designed to sum up their projected internet existence. Maybe this formatting change makes me uncool, but oh well.

2003-04-14T14:48:00.000-05:00

Some pics of Joffrey's Le Sacre.

they don't quite give the whole effect, but are good examples of the primitive, ancient viking-ish costumes. I had a whole thought process behind events last Thurs, but didn't get to yet, because in addition to my car dying momentarily, I had to take Chris to the hospital with a broken big toe. So I'm going to go back and reflect concerning last Thurs when my car battery died. Well, I was sitting there in despair, kicking myself for not having Triple A yet. (I guess I could write AAA, but Triple A is what it is in my head, and AAA looks like I typed A too many times for Alcoholics Anon or something.) And I was wondering what I was going to do if the campus parking people couldn't come at all. I was thinking, what if this had happened other places where I have lived? And it dawned on me how alone I was, in a sense. Everywhere I have lived before have been these close communities. If I was in trouble, it would be a simple matter of making a few phone calls for someone to rescue me. And likewise, I wouldn't have thought twice about dropping whatever I was doing to go help someone. For instance, if I had been down the mountain, like at UTC or something, and my car battery died, I can think of a least a dozen people I could've called to help me many of whom would've come down the mountain to do so. Maybe I'm just presumptuous, but in a sense, I think that's what being part of the church community is all about. Much as I love my church here, I think I'd only feel comfortable calling one or two people if I were in trouble. I think the general sentiment would be, 'why don't you get Triple A?' Oh ugh. This is getting convoluted, and I feel like I'm not coming across right. Of course, Triple A is wonderful and helpful, and sometimes your community isn't there to help you. But in the broader sense (forget car troubles at this point), I'm thinking of your community being the first place where you turn for help and for support. One should never feel "stranded" in a kind of general way...psychologically or emotionally. And the only way our community can be our community...our covenantal community...is because of Christ. Because of our individual union with Him, we are by extension united with each other. Anyway...that was kind of all mixed up and stream-of-consciousness thoughts I had while sitting in my dead car in the parking lot the other day. I got new glasses today, and I CAN SEE!!! I took a walk and looked at all the trees that I could see again. It's glorious. The weather is grand. 8-) (that's me in my new glasses.) Okay. Now time for another deep dive, because my pastor preached the kick ass-est sermon ever last night! Our pastor has been going through the book of Mark in the evenings, and last night he got to the story of Jesus feeds the 5,000. He started out by saying that Christ isn't the one to host the feast, but to BE the feast. He described the miracle of Christ who kept giving and giving the bread...as an act of creation. Then Russell (my pastor) stopped and asked 'why is this story here? What is the point?' He then read Mark 6:34 "When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd." Russell said that this verse is set up in the context of the exodus and wilderness wanderings of Israel. (ok, it's a bit redemptive-historical, wh. Russell doesn't do a lot of, but when he does, it's very good.) First of all, Jesus takes the crowd out to the desert, the wilderness to feed them. Not only was their provision of food but there was surplus...numbering 12 baskets! (When Jesus recalls the event to his apostles in Mark 8:19, he focuses on the baskets...so the fact that there was 12 is significant.) Then Russell recounted God's promising to give the people manna in Exodus, and the people's grumblings and asking for meat. And because of their unbelief they would have the food, but they would never be satisfied. When Jesus provided in the wilderness, the crowd was satisfied. Ok. Back to verse 34 and the context of Israel's exodus and wandering. In Numbers 27, Moses, realizing that he would not lead the people into the promised land, was talking to God, asking who would lead the congregation of the Lord so that would not be like sheep without a shepherd? (see Mark 6.34) In Numbers 27.18 Joshua is chosen by God to lead the people. The Hebrew word Joshua is the same as the Greek word Jesus. Jesus is the true Joshua who will take his people through the wilderness into the Promised Land. See Ezekial 34:22-23, David is set of as Shepherd of the people so that they may live safely in the wilderness. It sure gives a whole new meaning to "The Lord is my Shepherd." So the point of the event of Jesus' feeding the 5,000 was to demonstrate that he WAS the feast. He came to BE the feast. He came to deal with the unsatisfied unbelief (in other words, sin) of Israel (the Church)...to satisfy the thirst for the living God. This made me think of the daily manna God gave Israel...and how Christ's sufficiency meets us on a daily basis. Wow!!! I was just so excited about that sermon.

2003-04-12T11:04:00.000-05:00

Last night I went to see the Joffrey Ballet here in NOLA. I was SO excited!! The first time I've ever been to a ballet!! Unfortunately, Chris was feeling too awful to go (since he broke his big toe on Thurs), so I took my friend Betsy, whose husband teaches with Chris at Desire Street. It turned out she had been trying to get free tickets off the radio all week anyway, so she was so excited! It was SOOO AMAZING!!! We were way high up, but it was still so cool. The first thing they did was Stravinsky's "Les Noces," which is a depiction of a Russian peasant wedding ritual. The first tableau is the hairbraiding, and all the maids are braiding the hair of the bride, the second is the groom and his pals, the third is blessings from the parents and the bride leaving, and the fourth is the groom taking the bride to their new home and assuring her a happy life. the interesting thing is in the 3rd and 4th tableaus, the bride and groom and their parents are on sort of a platform at the back of the stage, and most of the "action" are the villagers in front of it. It was so cool! "Les noces" is for 4 pianos, percussion, soloists and choir. It was really interesting to see how the dancing corresponded with the singing. Almost opera-ish but not quite.. (Unfortunately, they used all recorded music. It would have been too expensive to have live musicians.) Then they did Erik Satie's "Parade." Picasso did the original designs for set and costumes and stuff. So it was really cool. I didn't quite get the plot. I know it's a Sunday afternoon fair in Paris, and different managers are vying with different shows to get people to come into their shows? Some of the costumes were these elaborate cubists constructions. One hilarious part, was when this horse came out. The front legs was one person and the back legs was another. And it danced around. The audience was laughing so hard. It was really funny! Then the part we were all waiting for "Le Sacre du Printemps"! With the original set designs and stuff. It was so primitive and ancient! Colorful, Viking-ish costumes. The neat thing about nijinsky's choreography for Stravinsky is that it really reflects the block construction of Strav's music. There are blocks of people throughout the stage...interlocking to create a whole work. It's so neat! Seeing it was so AMAZING!!!

2003-04-07T10:44:00.000-05:00

What was that about being a machine? Ugh. Well, last week I was a great student. Focused, thoughtful, prepared above and beyond for all my classes. Then after my last class on Friday...*poof*. I'm useless. Frustrated. Absolutely zero motivation. I could not bring myself to study at all over the weekend...and I tried. I ended up giving up and cleaning/doing stuff around the house for the first time in I don't know how long. Chris has been holding down the fort for the most part. In the afternoon we went canoeing for my birthday. It was gorgeous and warm. The bayou was verdant and vibrant. We saw a ton of alligators including a couple really huge ones. I went grocery shopping for the first time in about 3 weeks and made a meal for the first time in about 3 weeks. And went to bed early to try to curb the time change. I was still groggy on Sunday, though. And my eyes are so tired and strained. I really must get a new prescription SOON! It was so hard to focus in church, because all my energy was spent on focusing my eyes in the dimly lit sanctuary. After evening service we went to the Hamilton's. I had fun playing with Abby and Chara Grace, and then I got to give Blair her bottle. It's so hard to retain perspective on what I'm doing when there's a cute, cuddly baby in my arms. I have just got to get through grad school! Right now, though, I'm so ill-motivated. I had hoped last weekend would give me inspiration enough to get through the semester. This morning I woke with a sore throat and something hot to drink didn't help, so I decided to stay home. My eyes are tired anyway...driving is getting more difficult. But after sleeping more, I'm feeling a bit better. I feel guilty for staying home. Partly because part of the reason I decided to stay was that I just didn't have the gumption to go. Chris said surprisedly this morning "whatever happened to super grad student?" I don't know...maybe it's just hormones....

2003-03-31T19:36:00.000-06:00

Wooohoooo! I passed my qualifying exam. I am now an official doctoral student. Had a great weekend in Philly. Had wonderful, though brief, time with Chris's parents. Met my favorite musicologists and got to hang out with Joanna and Dr. Steele and my mom and other Cov folks. So fun. Friday full of art and music...went to Degas exhibit at the Fart Museum (Degas and ballet dancers), dinner at a hip French bistro on Rittenhouse Square, and recital at Curtis my fave part of which was the cellist doing unaccompanied George Crumb sonata and Capriccio by Lukas Foss. Big treat to hang with Chris's mom. Now I'm plagued by a twitching eye. It's not my eyelid that's twitching. It's the nerve or muscle underneath my left eye sort of in my eye socket that's been spazzing out (I don't know how to spell it, so phonetic is all I'm up for) since last Thursday. I think a massage from Betsy, some sleep, and a visit to the opthamologist (also not in the mood to spell that one right) are in order. I must write more. A machine of production is not what I am and what I need to be if I'm going to be successful. Can I just get through this week? I can't believe I'm going to be 25 on Thursday. Wow.

2003-03-20T21:14:00.000-06:00

ugh. My posts are becoming more and more infrequent. Life reels by. I got the second part of my qualifying exam today. I have to basically research and write a 10-15 pg paper by Monday. I'm doing it on structure vs expression (or classic vs romantic?)...probably zeroing in on the Renaissance, because I think humanism could bring an interesting angle. The weather has been so beautiful. Though spring is gorgeous, bursting with life...it always makes me moody for some reason. Maybe because everything around me is unsettling, rather than the comforting of the settled fall. The white, textured clouds hang noiselessly in the azure sky. Yesterday I had a nice cup of coffee with Dr. H. talking about morbid lives of writers that somehow did not seem so morbid in such a glorious day.

2003-03-13T12:12:00.000-06:00

Chris and I went to bed at 8.30 last night. We're utterly exhausted. Actually, it was more like at little after 9 because we kept getting up to do random stuff forgotten. I still have a headache. I think another good night's sleep ought to do the trick. I'm so tired. I had a good chat with Dr. H this am about my schedule. Since I don't really want to drop anything, Strav, included, and if I can change courses to audit, I think I'll change 19th c to audit...since that's just an information consuming course. And it would knock one term off the pile. I think I'm going to go home early. Eat my sandwich and go.

2003-03-12T17:39:00.000-06:00

Aaaah. Historiographical essay is done and handed in. It turned out only one book was really the patronage study "ideal" in my estimations...Christopher Reynolds's Papal Patronage at St. Peter's...brought in a discussion of cultural, political context to music insitutions and also talked about how actual music fit it to all it. I'm so tired. My head is pulsing out of my skull. My eyes burn. How will I endure the drive home? But I guess I will... It's times like these when I'm sure I need a new prescription for my glasses. Why else would my eyes hurt so bad? Should I drop Stravinsky??

2003-03-06T17:16:00.000-06:00

I now know why they make those rollout keyboard things on computer desks. For your lunch! It make a wonderful place to rest your food while working at your desk. And since I use a laptop, I don't need it for a keyboard.

2003-03-06T13:11:00.000-06:00

Well, I guess I never really did get around to reconstructing my lost blog. Maybe sometime. I decided to stay home today. I just didn't feel up to driving to Baton Rouge. And I'm behind in my work, thanks to being sick. So I'm home trying to ascertain 5 monographs for a historiographical essay this afternoon. I've just started the second. Why is the patronage studies always end up being lists!? The idea of patronage studies sounds so interesting! I love learning about courts and all that. But every book I read is a list of rulers, a brief discussion of the political and cultural climate (wh. usually ends up being the most interesting part of the book...other than the conclusion), and lists, lists, lists...of singers, sources, possible works...and on and on... Why can't it more interesting? The information is helfpul, but surely the information can't be the end of it all.

2003-03-05T21:39:00.000-06:00

All right...let's see if I can remotely reconstruct my thought patterns of earlier. Well, first of all. I did have a good day. I really should have buckled down and studied hard, but after a morning of mindless web-browsing. I decided that my brain was still off. So I took a shower, cleverly avoided answering the door to some JW's, and went grocery shopping. It's been several weeks since I've done a real shopping run. Chris will go for me, but he doesn't have the sense of the whole kitchen that I do when I go. So every so often I go and stock up. I love going to Whole Foods. Such good quality food. Even though our grocery budget has gone up a bit, we definitely feel better and the food just plain tastes better. There's a few things I don't think we should compromise on if we don't have to, and I think eating well is one of them. So what if a hunk of cheese is a fraction of the price at Sam's. It tastes like plastic in comparison. So what kind of chemicals are in that stuff to make it taste that way? I also got some vitamins at Whole Foods to hopefully avoid getting sick again. I stocked up on Acidopholus, which is a good bacteria in prevention of UTI's. Thankfully, I found gelcap vitamins. One thing I hate about vitamins is when they look like horse pills and make you feel like you've eaten a meadow. One of my mom's vitamin standbys is alfalfa pills. No way. okay. Enough talk about vitamins or I will start sounding like my mom. My favorite grocery shopping treat is to get blue tortilla chips made from blue organic corn for taco salad that night, which is what I made for supper tonight. I love cooking. Like I've said before...in my other life, I would be a chef. I love quality food prepared well and beautiful. I'll probably end up a fat ol' Italian lady heaping pasta on the plates of my grandchildren. heehee. If my mom doesn't beat me to it. heehee. :-) I also had to do a quick run by SavACenter to get the much cheaper coffee than Whole Food's for Chris, since he imbibes it in such alarming quantities. Then I came home. I drove up Jefferson street, since it is newly opened after construction. It surprises me how well the city cleans up after Mardi Gras. But there will always be beads...caught in the branches of trees whose arms extend past the crowd's reaching, draped over the railings of folks' porches, caught in the gutter, tossed on a mailbox...everywhere. When I got home, I hustled the groceries up and began putting them away, and was grossed out for the final time at how disgusting the freezer was. So I got down there and cleaned the freezer. I literally had to take a spatula and scrape gross stuff (I think it was ice cream that had dripped there once when the freezer door came open) off the floor of the freezer. But it is sparkling white now. I cleaned and organized the fridge, too. I feel very proud of myself, and it was kidn of cathartic to venture into domestic life for a bit. I really must get back to the books. I decided to not go to school tomorrow, since it is just one class. I need to work on the 5 books for the historiographical essay and 1 book for presenting all for my history class next Wednesday and being sick really set me back. This morning as I sat at my computer I shivered in the cool, gray dampness, but when I opened the door and a wave of humidity hit. A balminess so characteristic of New Orleans. It is getting warm. A warm/cool, damp night breeze filters in now, tinkling the wind chimes and disturbing the curtains. But I better close that panel in case a roach thinks he's invited, too. Life in the sub-tropics...

2003-03-05T10:36:00.000-06:00

Aaaargh! I have just spent half hour pouring out my soul about my life's decision. And Blogger has lost it. Poof! Disparru!!! That is the second time that is happened. And it only happens when I write really long entries! Aaaargh. How can I reproduce that?!

2003-03-04T14:56:00.000-06:00

Happy Mardi Gras!!! Yep. Today is the Big Day. The one day of the whole year this city lives for. And I'm home sick. I came down with a UTI on Sunday night and have been holed up in misery these few days. Missing all the parades. It's okay, though, I was only going to go to one just as a token. I do love a parade, though. And there is something exhilirating about beads showering down. I'm beginning to feel a little bit better. Which means I need to start reading some monographs.

2003-03-01T10:08:00.000-06:00

Aaaah. The exam is over. In some ways, when I sat down to take it, it seemed a little anti-climactic, but in other ways, it was still somewhat of an ordeal. I think because of the scope of the essays. I am sure the test has served it's function, proving I'm "qualified" whatever that means, but I wish I had been able to be more precise and specific. I could have been. I knew one of the essays to write about a composer outlining when and where he lived and major works throughout. So I could've prepare that one better, especially with dates. Dr. H. really likes dates, too. I knew that. But I couldn't figure out how I could cram all those dates into my head. So I probably need to start a slow, methodical accumulation of dates, so I'm not freaked out about that when it comes time for general exams. Dr. G stayed to administer the test since Dr. M had family in town and Dr. H had to be out of town (hence I had to teach all morning). Dr. G is probably Dr. Green's age, so doesn't feel so much older as the other two do. He's more like a pal. After I took the test I thought I'd better stock up on caffeine before the trip home, because I was sure the roads would be really crowded going into NOLA. I asked Dr. G if he wanted to come down to the coffee shop with me, and he did. I don't know him very well, because I haven't had a course with him yet. But we had a great conversation about religion of all things! He goes to a mainline Pres church, and we had an interesting conversation about how one's beliefs, whatever they are, ought to affect your whole life, not just the "convenient" parts. It was the most candid conversation about anything like that I've had with someone at LSU thus far. So that was interesting and fun. And I came home pleasantly stocked up with a cappucino and cheesecake in my tummy. And promptly went to bed. I'm still pretty tired.... I don't know what we're going to do about any parades this weekend. We really ought to go to one.

2003-02-26T18:41:00.000-06:00

This afternoon I had my history class, and for the first time, I loved it. Really loved it. Back track a bit. Monday afternoon I went to the prof to get advice about improving my weekly reviews of the monograph of the week, but she affirmed me, said I was doing fine, and, totally unsolicited, urged me not to be intimidated in class. Well, a little affirmation goes a long way. I was definitely a much better class participant today. I feel kind of bad, though, because the other 2 girls are still as quiet as ever. They may never make a comment at all in class. One of them hasn't all semester! But my little chat with the prof on Mon helped me to see those obnoxious boys more realistically. I had a great time in the history class, and that made up for some of the desert feeling I have here. Well, I have to prepare to teach for Friday...19th c choral music. I want to get my prep done with so tomorrow I can just focus on my qualifying exam.

2003-02-23T17:09:00.000-06:00

I'm IN LOVE with the word of the day! sough \SAU; SUHF\, intransitive verb: To make a soft, low sighing or rustling sound, as the wind. noun: A soft, low rustling or sighing sound.

2003-02-22T21:14:00.000-06:00

I'm a bit bleary-eyed after skimming all of western music history all day. It's fun, though, to sort of get a bird's-eye view. Highlights of this week included a quick cup of coffee that turned into a 2hr conversation with Dr. H. at our wonderful coffee shop (that is quickly turning into my second home). Sort of an informal Intro to Musicology. But I discovered that I can do what I want to do without being a positivist!!! (or at least how I thought the word meant). Apparently in musicology things are a little different. When the New Musicology (influenced by lit. crit.) started, everyone who wasn't a "new musicologist" is a positivist. I must say, I laughed out loud at such an absurd distinction. But things are a lot clearer. My dept is so great. I've been freaking out all week, and they have been so reassuring.

2003-02-18T14:16:00.000-06:00

After a balmy Saturday followed by a big rain storm, it cooled off to a more season-appropriate temperature on Sunday. It's been low 40's at night up to low 60's in the day. Aaaah...nice and cool. I'm so tired! This morning I fell asleep between the time it took me to turn off the alarm clock and getting out of bed...resulting in my getting up later than I had intended, though not disastrously so. I set my qualifying exam for the Friday before Mardi Gras (Vendredi Gras?). I'm kind of stressed though. I have SO much to do for my other classes. I'm way behind in reading. I have a test this Friday and my usual monographs. I'm scheduled to teach that Friday that I decided to take the exam. I just want to get it done with, though, because really no time is convenient. I wish they would've done this last sem when I had time. But anyway...my biggest concern is that I may have been able to write a good enough SIP to get me into the doctoral program, but do I know enough stuff? I guess we'll find out. It's not like they're looking for an excuse to get rid of me, either. But I'm feeling inadequate to rise to the challenge. I wish the library was a place that I enjoyed being in more. It's kind of unfriendly and frustrating. Not nearly the social center it was at Cov. I suppose that's better in the long run...sometimes the Cov lib was a little distracting. :-) But all that said...I need to go find articles.

2003-02-15T19:49:00.000-06:00

Well, yesterday was the first day of the season that the air-conditioning came on in the buildings. We won't turn on ours yet for awhile, but it only gets warmer from here on out. I think the rain storm this evening will hold off the heat a bit longer. But it is definitely time to plant my garden if I want anything before it gets too hot. The new LSU program for Med and Ren Interdisc Studies started yesterday with a guest lecturer from UCLA, Teo Ruiz, a late medieval historian. It was so great! Meeting him and having lunch with other grad students was really cool, but almost what was better was meeting other folks at LSU that I wouldn't have otherwise. The lecture was really good. He was a dynamic speaker, and held my attention the whole time (even though it was late Friday afternoon and I had a head ache). But it was exhilirating all the same. By the time I got home last night, we were both too tired to do much but eat mac and cheese and watch a movie. This morning Chris had to go to Saturday school, wh. was kind of annoying. (Just a two hour study session in the morning for the boys who hadn't done their homework during the week.) I went over and played with the Hamilton's for a while. But I was so tired that I didn't have much energy for them. Chris picked me up and brought me Val. Day flowers (irises and orchids) and we went and got shrimp po-boys and went out to Barataria to go canoeing in the bayou of Jean Lafitte State (or national...I don't know) park. At first, we weren't sure if we should go, but it looked like it might rain and there was a 70% chance prediction, but the sun looked like it was trying, so we thought we'd go anyway. And it was overcast and windy the whole time, but it didn't rain. It was kind of exciting and wild feeling to be in the gray, windy canals. Just us and the birds and whatever was living in the water. We did see one small alligator, lots of beautiful birds (herons and egrets mostly), a couple small water snakes and a nutria (basically a swamp rat). It was just what we needed! To be out of the city...gliding along the quiet waters... At one point, we pulled up our paddles and just drifted in the wind. It was so cathartic. Just wonderful... And it didn't start raining until right after we got home. And now I'm deliciously tired from physical activity and fresh air (rather than the oppressive tired of the library and the car).

2003-02-13T20:31:00.000-06:00

Today was such a warm, nice, sunny day. Betsy and I went out shopping at all the nice food stores for Val. Day tomorrow. Actually...I just got a little chocolate and normal grocery shopping, but she was looking for some other stuff. I got red and blue tortilla chips for our yummy taco salad that we had tonight. Blue Frog Chocolates was teeming with folks buying their Val Day candy. I got Chris a chocolate cigar. Hee, hee. He doesn't know yet, though. I love the feeling of a holiday in the air. Actually, in NOLA, though, Val Day gets a little subsumed under the bustle leading up to Mardi Gras, wh. is soon!

2003-02-13T00:17:00.000-06:00

This is my presentation for Stravinsky class: Stravinsky, Igor. The Rite of Spring (Sketches 1911-1913): Facsimile Reproductions from the Autographs. London: Boosey & Hawkes, 1969. Description

The facsimile edition includes a preface by François Lesure, an essay entitled “Genesis of a Masterpiece” by Robert Craft, and the facsimile of the sketches themselves. There is also an accompanying appendix that includes Robert Craft’s Commentary to the sketches and essay about the performance of The Rite of Spring, as well as Stravinsky’s letters to N.C. Roerich (artist who designed set and costumes) and N. F. Findeizen (editor of the Russian Musical Gazette) and his commentary and brief outline of the choreography with Nijinsky.
The facsimile sketches mostly contain The Rite of Spring. Sections are labeled with a heading in Russian. Notes jotted are mostly in Russian with some in French or Italian. Also included in the sketchbook are some sketches from The Nightingale (1908-1914), Pribaoutki (1914; Russian folk texts trans into French 1915-16), and Trois Poésies de la lyrique japonaise (1913).
Stravinsky bought a blank book in Italy and drew staves as needed with a small wheel sort of device that he invented himself. Composed RofS in Clarens, Switz.
He used mainly black ink with red and green ink for specific purposes. He also made notes and directions to himself in blue pencil. (In the margins of a few pages are little doodles. Dreaming of primitive designs??? pp. 95,96). Lyrics to Russian songs towards the end are in purple pencil.
Contains concrete musical ideas that one can identify closely with the finished score. There are no significant erasures, though occasional crossing out and moving around indicated in pencil.
Perhaps the real compositional process and sketching was done at the keyboard (“I had only me ear to help me…”), and the sketches reflect more of an “orchestrational” process. Orchestration drafting permeates the sketches from the very first page, and towards the end, the sketches begin to look more like a full orchestral score.

One way the sketches can help us

Taruskin has shown that folk melodies have played an important role in The Rite of Spring. He has identified the melody in the sketch itself and how it is used in the final product.
For example: Melody on p. 8 from an anthology of folk-tunes compiled by Rimsky-Korsakov provides material for Khorovod.
The presence of the sketchbook provides a unique opportunity in this respect, because the folk melodies are so absorbed into the texture, rather than cited directly, and serve as point of departure in the compositional process..
Taruskin, Richard. “Russian Folk Melodies in The Rite of Spring.” JAMS (1980): 501-543.

2003-02-12T14:32:00.000-06:00

Yesterday on the way home from school, a HUGE pelican flew right in front of me. It was so cool. There are a lot bigger than you think. And I saw a big owl sitting on the telephone pole.

2003-02-08T17:25:00.000-06:00

I've been cleaning through my files. I found my old Orchestration project. Fun, fun. And i don't know how many drafts of my SIP are lying around. But it's so painful to throw them away...

2003-02-08T11:22:00.000-06:00

And now for some salient quips from the brilliant Edward Said: Apocalypse Now "[Saddam Hussein] is exploiting the astonishing clumsiness and failures of US foreign policy...Moreover, a deep gulf separates Arab culture and civilization on the one hand, from the United States on the other, and in the absence of any collective Arab information and cultural policy, the notion of an Arab people with traditions, cultures and identities of their own is simply inadmissible in the US. Arabs are dehumanized, they are seen as violent irrational terrorists always on the lookout for murder and bombing outrages...Burning in the collective American unconscious is a puritanical zeal decreeing the sternest possible attitude towards anyone deemed to be an unregenerate sinner...The notion of "justified" punishment for Iraq is now uppermost in the minds of most American consumers of news, and with that goes an almost orgiastic delight in the gathering power being summoned to confront Iraq in the Gulf...As the only country involved in this crisis that has never had to fight a war on its own soil, it is easy for the US and its mostly brain-washed citizens to speak in apocalyptic terms...The saddest aspect of the whole thing is that Iraqi civilians seem condemned to additional suffering and protracted agony. Neither their government nor that of the US is inclined to ease the daily pressure on them, and the probability that only they will pay for the crisis is extremely high...Taking the case to the International Court in the Hague strikes me as a perfectly viable possibility, but what is needed is a concerted will on behalf of Arabs who have suffered the US's egregious blows for too long without an adequate response." Europe vs. America "The ideological position common to nearly everyone in the system is that America is best, its ideals perfect, its history spotless, its actions and society at the highest levels of human achievement and greatness. To argue with that -- if that is at all possible -- is to be "un-American" and guilty of the cardinal sin of anti- Americanism, which derives not from honest criticism but for hatred of the good and the pure...No wonder then that America has never had an organised Left or real opposition party as has been the case in every European country. The substance of American discourse is that it is divided into black and white, evil and good, ours and theirs. It is the task of a lifetime to make a change in that Manichean duality that seems to be set forever in an unchanging ideological dimension..." Israel, Iraq, And The US "During the current American campaign for regime change in Iraq, it is the people of Iraq, the vast majority of whom have paid a terrible price in poverty, malnutrition and illness as a result of 10 years of sanctions, who have dropped out of sight. This is completely in keeping with US Middle East policy built as it is on two mighty pillars, the security of Israel and plentiful supplies of inexpensive oil. The complex mosaic of traditions, religions, cultures, ethnicities, and histories that make up the Arab world -- especially in Iraq -- despite the existence of nation-states with sullenly despotic rulers, are lost to US and Israeli strategic planners. With a 5000-year old history, Iraq is mainly now thought of as either a "threat" to its neighbours which, in its currently weakened and besieged condition, is rank nonsense, or as a "threat" to the freedom and security of the United States, which is more nonsense...Both Bushes are oil businessmen after all, and they care more about that sort of calculation than they do about the delicate points of Middle Eastern politics, like re-wrecking Iraq's civilian infrastructure. Thus the first step in the dehumanisation of the hated Other is to reduce his existence to a few insistently repeated simple phrases, images and concepts. This makes it much easier to bomb the enemy without qualm...The whole theme of the war against terrorism has permitted Israel and its supporters to commit war crimes against the entire Palestinian population of the West Bank and Gaza..."

2003-02-08T10:17:00.000-06:00

Discussions of the upcoming "war", which tend to occupy a huge percentage of radio broadcasting (and they're saying the same thing over and over and over), hearkens my thoughts to an interesting paper I heard at the Conference on Faith and History conference last October. It was based on the research of two Mennonite historians, who are obviously conscientious objectors. They made a compelling argument for the myth of "redemptive violence" that has underwritten much of U.S. history. The book is called The Missing Peace.

2003-02-07T09:56:00.000-06:00

Aaah. I'm so glad I don't have to go to school. Dr. M is at a conference. I'm glad I didn't go. I had submitted a paper for it, but it got rejected. I was going to go anyway, but then decided it was too expensive. (If it had gotten accepted the grad school would've paid) I'm glad I'm home. I still feel rotten. Last night I woke up at 2 am and my throat hurt so bad I almost cried, so I got up to make theraflu, and I was coughing and coughing. And then Chris woke up, wh. I kind of felt bad about, b/c he hasn't been sleeping well lately, but he got up and put his snuggly robe around me and stumbled back in bed. So I was sitting there in the kitchen, sniveling and sipping my Theraflu feeling really sorry for myself, and I hear a slight buzz. I looked down on the kitchen floor and beside my chair there was a huge ROACH!!! UUUUGH!!!! I screamed. And continuing to snivel ran to get the Raid, and stood on the chair and nailed him. He, of course, scurried away. I wish they would die instantly on the spot. Chris, hearing the commotion, came in the kitchen and dragged me to bed where I finished sipping my TheraFlu. But then since I had just drunk a huge mug of hot liquid, I had to go to the bathroom. So I got up and was going through the kitchen to the bathroom, and I saw that nasty roach scuttling across the kitchen floor. I was so mad! I was sure I had nailed him with Raid. I couldn't reach the Raid can fast enough before he disappeared, so I went to the bathroom. Thankfully, this morning when I got up, I saw him dead underneath the table. And Chris galantly disposed of him for me. I hate those odious creatures!!! I'm thinking I better sweep roach poison down the baseboards, wh., of course, have pulled away from the wall, leaving a sizeable gap between the wall and the floor. I don't mind finding them dead. But, alive? no way!!!

2003-02-06T12:33:00.000-06:00

For some reason, I was operating under the delusion that musicology operated concurrently to modern historiography. Wrong! It seems that a vast majority of them still believe that we can find objective history! Isn't that sort of passe? Isn't wie es eigentlich gewesen basically out the window? Apparently not. In the field of Renaissance music it seems that there still gathering data. There's nothing to think postmodernly about in some cases. The need to poke around in archives is still pressing. I guess I had been living in two worlds. The world that accepted archival research and the world of a postmodern historian, and this week they met. What about my dream dissertation??--to poke in the archives of Roi Rene in Aix-en-Pce and write about his court and chapel. How modernistic of me! What am I to do? Because I, as an historian, don't think I can create a world of authentic vs. unauthentic. It's all perspective on the evidences? If you can prove your argument that's good, right? But what about evidences? Doesn't the fact of an evidence draw into the authentic/unauthentic antithesis? Aaargh. I don't know what to think!

2003-02-03T09:22:00.000-06:00

A weekend in bed with a sore throat. A Monday in bed with a sore throat. Aaaargh. No fun. Not much to say. I am reading an interesting book for my class, though. It's called Montaillou about a village of that name during the time of the Albigensian heresy. There's vast amounts of details available about the village because of testimonies during certain Inquisitions. So rarely do we get such a full snapshot of the details of a medieval village. Utterly fascinating. Krista called last night to say that she was engaged. Hoooooray!

2003-01-31T08:54:00.000-06:00

Granny's email cracked me up talking about all of us getting fat when the weather is cold. Ha! Last night we walked over to teh Hamilton's about 7.30 in the evening, so it was already dark. A bit of a chill in the air. I had a jacket and scarf, but Chris just had his sweatshirt. Not biting cold, but damp and chilly. And I was walking along I thought...hey, this is Mardi Gras weather! And it really is...damp and cool. It's weird the new categories we develop depending on where we live.

2003-01-30T18:59:00.000-06:00

Jottings from earlier in the day: I love my new laptop. I can just sit here in this office while I’m waiting and have my desktop at my fingertips for writing. I’m at Dr. M’s vet in Metairie. She’ll take me home afterwards. I can’t wait to make it home. I miss Chris so bad. It just wears me out to be separated for even a few days. I hate it. I truly appreciate Dr. M’s hospitality in letting me stay with her while my car was getting fixed so that I could to school. This week has definitely been not worth missing. I doubt I’ll have a week worth missing ever for the rest of grad school. I sat down with Dr. H today to figure out how I’m going to organize the completion of coursework for degree, since I’m not a normal student. I’m the first PhD student the musicology dept has admitted without previously having a master’s, so they’re playing it by ear. I’ll have to complete the amount of hours for a master’s and PhD, but I don’t have to do a thesis. I have to fit in 78 hours in three years!! That means at least 12 hours a semester! And some summers. So I’m sobered and ready to buckle down. And if improve my SIP I could probably get a master’s out of it while I’m at it. Anyway…so it’s something to fit into my head. I had my first history class yesterday. This is my 17 monographs course, and this week’s books were two thick volumes called Handbook of European History, 1400-1600. They included forty chapters each by a different historian. There’s no way I was able to read the whole thing of both of them, but I managed to get a good amount read. And it was pulling teeth to write a review. I hate writing reviews. I never have been able to get it, even after the billions of book reviews at Covenant. I seem to be missing something, and I am never quite sure what. Thankfully, the prof said we could turn in drafts for her critique, so I’m definitely going to try to take advantage of that. I was so nervous going to class, too. Completely new environment, and I’m still feeling out this whole grad school thing. In the music dept I shine like a star, because there’s only one of me that knows historiography and stuff. I’m a singular entity. However, in the history dept, everyone needs to know all this stuff, and chances are they know a whole lot more than I do. So it’s a different kind of pond that I go to swim in over there. And out of a class of nine, there are three girls. The class jumped right into discussion. (well, a few choice guys) I felt so intimidated. But class participation is 20% of the grade, and this is a seminar, so I forced myself to say stuff. At first it was kind of dumb and rocky, but I knew now was the time to make myself a presence in the class. Otherwise, I would be just part of the marginal mass. After forcing myself enough times, I started thinking of pertinent comments that I think contributed to the class. I didn't want the prof to think that I was some performance person not capable of historical discourse. But I think she understands, at least a little bit, the difference of a musicologist. Hopefully, I'll leave a good impression of a musicologist.

2003-01-28T14:19:00.000-06:00

life is crazy. I'm staying in baton rouge til the car is fixed. Wish I had just saved the email I wrote, pouring out my heart to a friend. I'm confronted anew with the challenge of finding meaning in the fallen world, yearning for heaven. Struggling to be a faithful witness and to be strident in my personal devotion.

2003-01-25T21:15:00.000-06:00

Aaah. Had a wonderful, much-needed chat with Bryonie...it had been too long.

2003-01-24T22:12:00.000-06:00

Well. After an afternoon tediously spent in reading reams (or what felt like it) of population, demographic and economic trends in europe between 1400-1600, I made a nice supper...my new fave recipe of Mediterranean white bean soup, salad, cheese and pumpkin pie. Dr. H came for dinner. It was very nice to have him at our house. Then we all went to a concert at St. Louis Cathedral down in the Quarter. I had never been to the cathedral...or rather inside of it...It was beautiful inside. Though, new. Not quite as staggering as a European cathedral. But it was very aesthetically pleasing. It at least didn't feel contrived. The concert was wonderful. It was part of the Louisiana Purchase Bicentennial celebration stuff. The best part about the concert was the Gregorian Chant Choir of Spain. I had never seen live chant, and this was a real treat. So beautiful. Whoever says all chant sounds the same is gravely mistaken. I wish the whole concert (a Mass with hte Ordinary parts composed by Antonio Soler) had been the chant choir. But the Ordinary sections were sung by the LA Vocal Arts Society and members of the LPO. It came across as rather amateurish...disappointing after the pristine performance of the chant sections of the proper. My favorite part was when the chant choir processed in. The way they all walked in a kind of rhythm...like a dance almost...though just two rows of walking to a chant processional. There were some organ numbers by Soler, too, but I think they would've been more effective on harpsichord. Sometimes it sounded kinded of muddy. We had a really nice time hanging out with Dr. H, too. I was glad that Chris could meet him. Well, I'm exhausted, and I should try to take in a bit more early modern European population and economic development.

2003-01-24T09:23:00.000-06:00

Wow. I can't believe it's Friday already. The days are flying by so fast I can hardly see them. Go to school. Class, think, read. Come home. Find food quick. Read. Fall asleep reading. I've only been doing this for 3 days. It feels good, though. I feel like I'm exercising muscles that have been lying dormant. And things are starting to surface to the zaps and blips of my brain. It's great. And now, I'm writing on my new laptop!!! Yipppeee! My cute Mac arrived last night, and it's pretty much functional the way I want it. I just want to install the Gimp (image editing software), html software and a mail program that I can download my email into. Then I'll be flying high! I'm amazed Chris already set up internet for me. Woohooo! But I can't go to school today. No car. My car is still in the garage!!! they said it would be done last Wednesday, but the parts are slow in coming. The Hamilton's have been so great in letting me borrow the Corolla, but yesterday their truck mysteriously and unexpectedly died. So now they're down to one car. Unless my car is for sure finished on Monday, I'll probably take the train up Sunday night and stay with the M's until it's done. I can't afford missing class this sem.

2003-01-21T17:13:00.000-06:00

OKay...my graduate school joyride is over. For my history class, wh. hasn't even met yet, I went to the bookstore to buy my books for the course...Ummm....17 MONOGRAPHS!!!!! 17 monographs required for the course. There's not even that many weeks in the semester!!!! I can't wait to see the syllabus for this class. Aaaaugh.

2003-01-20T21:51:00.000-06:00

Chris and I had a nice contented MLKing day off. Lounging around home. Doing stuff on the 'puter and watching movies. I got my website to a position that can be posted. Totally new format! I hope it's good. I mean, I think it's good, but I've lived with it for so long that it seems ok, but may be a hassle to maneuver around. We did do some errands. Rather taxing time it was. Wandered around Target trying to find a hanging pantry shelf thing that hangs from a door. My hutch for my new desk was in, though, and that was satisfying. Then I popped into Kmart to see about finding the shelf thing. I did find the file box I need, but no hanging shelf thing. And it was a trashy, slow Kmart. That and the disturbing movie Chris watched was enough to put one into a foul mood, but now we're watching Amelie again. Comme, cette filme est tres jolie!!!

2003-01-19T17:16:00.000-06:00

I'm trying to get my friends to post on a multi-user blog instead of email, b/c I'm so sick of this email thing!!! Maybe if I just get out of hotmail altogether I won't hate it so much. Last night I had Dr. McFarland (except she told me to call her Alison...) and her husband down for dinner. They came all the way from Baton Rouge. I was really glad. And I made such a yummy dinner!!! We had a white bean Mediterranean soup and hten I made pasta and served chicken breasts stuffed with ricotta cheese, olives and garlic all topped off wiht a marinara sauce and asparagus on the side. Then we had a salad and cheese (brie and cheddar) and then I made hazelnut brownies with a Kahlua sauce over it. Mmmmm. And they brought a really nice white wine (Orvieto). Yuuuummmmy. And we had such a nice time. We had such a great time just chatting. At one point, Chris brought up the philosophy of education. ANd I felt like I was at a Covenant-y dinner with ideas being talked about and thrown around. It was so fun. We wish they could've stayed longer, but they had to drive back to Baton Rouge. Chris is such a wonerful help around the house. I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful husband. I'm glad we have tomorrow together...he's off for MLKing day.

2003-01-17T08:55:00.000-06:00

last night I watched Howard's End. Not quite as satisfying as the book. You always know that the movie never is going to be the same as the book, but sometimes like the movies anyway. But I think, in this case, it is different. I like the movie, but it's not satisfying... We got to see the new baby yesterday! She's very cute. Bundle of snuggle. Her name is Blair Hope. I really can't bring myself to call a baby Blair, but I guess I'll have to.

2003-01-16T16:30:00.000-06:00

another email I wrote to Grace and Joanna Hee, hee. I'm so tired that when you mentioned Charlotte Bronte I thought it said "Charlie Brown". Last night I went to spend the night at the Hamilton's...well, let me back up. Yesterday afternoon...no, let me back up more. Over Christmas, my in-laws said they'd buy me a computer desk for C'mas. Well, we got home and picked out a nice one on Target.com We thought it would so much easier and everything just to have it shipped here. Well, we got. So exciting! Opened it up, and hte top was cracked. Aargh. SO we had to haul it out to our real Target and exchange it. We hauled the new desk home, got it out to put together and hte corner was chipped. Aaaaugh! So yesterday my neighbor lent me her car to go back to Target. ANd this time I was by myself having to haul this really heavy desk. So I took it back and went to get a new. And this time I took it out of hte box at the store. I had a store rep helping me because I wasn't go to get a broken desk on my third try!! It was fine, so I hauled it home, and dragged it up hte stairs and got it out to set up. Chris and I put it together and realized that we needed to move a little furniture. We ended up moving A LOT of furniture, including a book shelf, wh. is the worst! We took the kitchen table (wh. is actually a desk) and moved it into the bedroom for use as Chris's desk. And we moved Chris's desk (wh. is actually a table) into the kitchen for use as a kitchen table. And my new desk is in the living room where Chris's old desk was. And we traded a bookshelf and a dresser. I think it makes more effecient use of space (the precious little) but a few key things need relocation. So that took a long time last time, and I was exhausted from moving and hauling and stuff. So then I went to the Hamilton's b/c Alison was scheduled for inducing at 4 am. She was already starting some so inducing was just a little encourager...not like a real forced delivery. Well, I had trouble falling asleep last night. I didn't get to sleep until after midnight. Then Abby woke up at 5 crying, so I went in to fill her milk cup, and then i couldn't get back to sleep, and Abby woke up again at 6 crying and by that point Chara Grace was awake, too, and there was no point in going back to bed. So we got up. They wanted popcorn for breakfast. Weird. Alison said they might and said to just let them, so that's what I got them. They watched a video while I took a shower and then around 9 we started getting ready to go to Baton Rouge. I had to go there to pick up my loan check. Such a pain. They couldn't mail it to me b/c I had to sign for it. We need the check to fix the cars, but I couldn't get to Baton Rouge without my car. Somewhat of a quandry, so when hte Hamilton's said I could use their car while babysitting the girls I asked if we could make a trip of it, esp since they've been wanting to see where 'Nette goes to school. So off we went. They travel very well. We got there and Dr. Herlinger was there! So I got to say 'hi' to him. Then we went to pick up my check and went to get French fries from the McD's on campus. (they LOVE ffries) and then we went came home. That SOUNDS simple, but it took FOREVER, because they stopped to play on every shrub and tree and blade of grass. What normally takes me seven minutes to walk, took an hour!!! It was fun, though, I was in no hurry and just let them be kids. Then we drove home. Abby got irritable on the way home, b/c she was due for her nap. So immediately, we all lay down for a rest when we got back to their house, and then their dad came and got them to go see the new baby!!! A girl!! They named her Blair Hope, and she was 7'12". Chris and I are going to see her later. In hte meantime, though. I'm tkaing a nap. Kids are exhausting.

2003-01-15T13:06:00.000-06:00

ok. I do believe I have messed with my blog template for the last time for a long time. I was thinking of how to make it an integral part of my website, but I think a link from and to my website will suffice, since I don't seem to have the blog following that Daniel and Betsy do. And my next burning itch is to learn Java Script so that I can write my code to insert comments. But Java is a really daunting thing for me. My mind just doesn't work that way. But in order to be a good web-designer...amateur that I am...this is the next step. Cool thing came out of my boredom. Yesterday I was feeling incredibley ancy, bored, and apathetic. I was bored, but I didn't feel doing anything. Really unproductive mood. Chris didn't come home until late because of the basketball game. And I'm carless, so I couldn't go anywhere. So what was I doing!? Typing random words into Google to see what would come up. Now if I don't know a huger waste of time...But that is what I was doing. So I set about typing in "DiBernardo" (my maiden name) to see what would come up. And I found message boards of geneaological nature, so I posted something, b/c I really don't know anything about the D's, and lo and behold, a second-cousin of mine, whom I have never met, but have heard of, emails me. He and his brother have been to Itly and done research and know relatives there! amazing!!! So if I ever get back to Europe, I'll have contact information and stuff. That would be so cool!!!! Last night I watched Gosford Park again. It's such an interesting movie!! I really like it. I love how the house is portrayed and the people and the class distinction. You almost never see a movie from the perspective of hte serving class. It was interesting to see them all functioning. I love DVD's b/c when you love a movie you can soak it all in with endless interviews and stuff. Okay...now I'm off to be mildly productive today.

2003-01-14T08:00:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was a great day. Even though I slept late and felt unfocused all day, I still managed to get a lot done. I finally cleaned the wood floors. My new mop is wonderful, and hopefully this cleaning won't be such a rare occurence since it won't be as taxing to my hands and knees. I also attacked a few pernicious piles and straightened up our financial organization. I just need a desk and a couple of file boxes and a lot will be taken care of. And yesterday I made my first King Cake!!! It turned out very yummy, too. Not too sweet. Just right. It's basically a sweet bread that I added hazelnuts and raisins to and baked in a ring. Dribbled a glaze over it and sprinkled purple, yellow, and green (Mardi Gras colors) over it. And I didn't forget to add hte baby!!! Whoever finds the baby in their piece has to bring hte next one. I got the baby last week at my early music jam session. So I brought hte cake. I don't think they were entirely serious about perpetuating it, but I thought it would be a fun opportunity to try my hand at a King Cake. AND...yesterday I was examining the flora on my porch, and this tomato that has survived through thick and thin has two yellow blossoms on it!!!! How cool would it be to have tomatos by Mardi Gras!!?? So today I'll attack a few more sore spots and work on this scrapbook and start drafting my Dad's website...

2003-01-13T14:59:00.000-06:00

Home again! After a few days at Grandmom's in Florida. I'm so glad to be home for good. I did have a really nice time in Florida with my grandma, though. We are just alike...personality, mannerisms, even looks. Definite kindred spirits. Since she has started physical therapy she is so spirited now. That and get out of the way of her new motorized wheel chair!! So we had a lot of fun. I did a lot of jobs that are kind of difficult for her. And she had several of her good friends over for dinner, and we went out to eat once and to the beach a couple of times just to sit and watch the waves and look for shells. And she creamed me in a game of Scrabble. And we watched a couple of videos. Poirot's Christmas and the CUTEST movie "Mrs. 'Arris goes to Paris". Angela Lansbury is Mrs. Harris and she is a charwoman in London. One day she is cleaning for her employers and sees a Dior dress that the lady is going to wear to the coronation. Mrs. Harris is completely overcome by its magnificent beauty and begins scrimping and saving to buy a Dior dress for herself. Finally after three years she's saved enough and goes to the House of Dior to buy a dress. And she is so cute and unpretentious. Great shots of Paris, too. Anyway, if you're in the mood for a nice feel-good movie it's really the cutest.

2003-01-04T20:18:00.000-06:00

Yay! We're home!!! And the house is getting clean. I organized our bedroom/study today...huge piles of papers and such. I'm getting ready for a new desk his parents are getting me. Yippeee! We went to Whole Foods to stock up on groceries. I love that store...I just feel the quality of life improving as I peruse the aisles. Mmm...the house smells yummy like apple pie b'c I just made one...

2003-01-02T12:48:00.000-06:00

Ahhhh. A fire in the fireplace at my parent's. I'm SOOO ready to go home, but I definitely will miss this quiet lounging in front of the fire. Everyone is at school today. Chris should be, but DSA adjusted their schedule to include today and tomorrow after we had bought the plane tickets. I kind of wish that hadn't been the case, because then we would be at home now. I'm certainly not looking forward to a day of travel tomorrow. But it will be the last time we have to haul our stuff anywhere (until I go visit my Grandma next week). I hope to make gumbo for the family tonight. The one Louisiana dish I've made before. I brought them some andouille sausage. I hope to get out and get some herbs and spices. They're so cheap up here from the Amish. It makes me wonder what kind of profit other people are making. I'm convinced it's all a packaging scam. LSU played in the Cotton Bowl yesterday. I saw some of the students that I TA'd for in Tiger Band at half time. That's kind of fun. I'm very proud for totally customizing myself a new template for this blog. I think I'll quit playing merry-go-round with templates, too. I like this layout.

2003-01-01T12:39:00.000-06:00

Life has been hectic. Here is the email I wrote to Grace and Joanna: After not having access to email for a week I feel so deprived!!! I feel this week has been years long. We have spent most of our time at my in-laws. They have just moved into their new house, so I spent a lot of time cleaning, painting, etc. Chris came a week later than me. I didn't like that. I really missed him. We blipped down to Lancaster for a couple of days for Christmas with my family. I played cello for their Christmas Eve service. That was fun. I feel like I'm a lot better cellist and even though I haven't been practicing much since I graduated from Cov, there are other things that I think I just do. A certain level that will always stick, which is somewhat encouraging. Then we spent the rest of Christmas Eve evening with my cousins (the same ones of the cruise), and we had a great time. I got lots of fun socks and some pretty ornaments. Then we came home and opened presents on Christmas Eve night like we always do. I didn't get tons and tons because some relatives sent our presents to NOLA, so I'll have more presents waiting for me. But my mom did get me a ravioli attachment for my new pasta maker that Chris's grandma got me at Thanksgiving. I'm really excited about that. So when you guys come for a visit, I'll make you yummy fresh pasta. Christmas Eve it started snowing, and by Christmas Day it was really dumping, and we HAD to get to Philly for Anneke's wedding. So we had to hustle out of here and it was just pouring snow. It was so fun to have a truly white Christmas, with big snowflakes coming down! We had a nice Christmas with Chris and I and John and Anneke and my in-laws. I got a hairdryer, wh. i really needed. Because I'm letting my hair grow out some, and it was looking kind of bad, but Chris's mom took me to get a nice haircut, but now I need to blowdry it in the morning, blah, blah. So I got a hairdryer. But then we had to turn our attention right away to teh wedding, wh. was on the 27th. I was the official wedding coordinator. The one in charge of getting everyone down the aisle. And I get to be in charge of the rehearsal, wh. I was happy to do. After sititng through so many dysfunctional wedding rehearsals, I've been dying to run one myself. And we did it quickly and efficiently! Chris's former pastor Craig Troxel officiated. He's the pastor of Calvary OPC that's just across the street from Westminster Seminary. He is so terrific...I really enjoyed getting to know him better. And Jimmy played bagpipes!! It was so fun! As a Christmas present Chris's grandmother paid for all of us to stay at a nice bed and breakfast during the wedding, which was so nice. And it was a great opportunity for me to get know more of his relatives...aunt, uncle, cousins. So I was really glad for that. All the relatives joined us for a great rehearsal dinner at a wonderful family style Italian restaurant in center city Philly. It was so yummy. I can hardly remember what I ate, though, because our table was so much fun. It was kind of the cool, educated elite table. There was Chris and me and another pastor friend of John's from Atlanta area (Boyd Miller, do you know him Jo?) and Chad van Dixhoorn who was one of Chris's groomsmen (and currently lives in Cambridge, Eng where he's working on his PhD in church history I think and working on the letters and stuff of the Westminster Divines) and Craig the pastor and a couple from John's church in Atlanta who are really cool. We just talked about everything! It was teh kind of conversation that you can rarely have...everyone had a certain level of education so that you could assume a lot and everything just buzzed with connections and discussion. We talked about everything from weekly Lord's supper to what kind of music the Westminster Divines would've listened to the evening. Anyway. Then the next day was the wedding. Not only was I in charge of the ceremony, but I somehow got signed up to help another lady from the church to do all the decorations for the reception. So I got there early and we made garlands and greenery and holly (it sort of looked like Madrigals when we were done with it), and then I had to change clothes quick (I got a new black velvet pants suit for the wedding...tres chic)and get everyone down the aisle. They arranged it so that John had not seen Anneke at all until she walked down the aisle. It was really effective. So beautiful. Everything was so smooth and wonderful. But by evening I was so exhausted!!! My legs hurt all the way up to my butt! The next day we spent several hours visiting with Chad (Cambridge guy) and his wife Emily. It was so wonderful!! There are some people that you are so happy to know, and these are these kind of people. I just love them. They are so kind and easy to talk to and fun and clever. ANd they have two beautiful little girls! Then we slept. I was so tired. Sunday was nice visiting with folks at Calvary. We had a seminary couple over for lunch and after evening service Em Clutcher adn her boyfriend and Jimmy came over. I love going up there, because Em and I can visit. She's the kind of person at Covenant who you never ahd much opportunity to get to know, but you always wish you had. (she's DEFINITELY a tea person) And the time just flies when we get together in Philly. I went over to her apt for lunch and tea the next day and we had such a good time. She's working at the library at Westminster and just loves it! Our time spent at Calvary really made me want to move to Philly. I love their church so much. And I feel like every time I come to visit it, it's harder to leave. But I'm SOOOO ready to go home. Okay. Guess who I spent New Year's Eve with? First of all, we planned a party at my in-laws with Chris's best friend, Pete being the essential ingredient. Then we just started inviting people. We invited Jim Knox, because he's terrific and he's Pete's roommate. And his parents were in town so they came, too!!! And I had such a great time hanging out with the Knox's and not being half asleep. But that's not all. We also invited Tim Black as part of the general effort to get him more socialbe. But when I invited him he kind of hemmed and hawwed a little and said that he'd love to come, but he and John Calvin had planned to go to whatever parties there were together. I figured, it's high time that J.C. and I get over it, so I told Tim, that if it didn't bother Calvin it wouldn't bother me, so come they did. And we had a pleasant time. So I feel like the rift is mended. In fact, I didn't get much opportunity to chat, so if one of you has his email, I'd love to drop him a line...to make sure everything is cool or whatever. Oh but I have to tell you how cool Jimmy is. His parents got him a fondue pot for Christmas. So he brought chocolate fondue! Isn't he the coolest!!! Anyway. So that brings us today. That's just events.

2002-12-18T15:50:00.000-06:00

Now I'm in Philly. I rode up on the train last night. I always like riding the train. I feel so connected with times and places past, yet not in an anachronistic kind of way, because I'm perfectly happy with the way trains have developed. Train travel, though, seems so legitimate. Chris's mom picked me up and we crawled our way out of center city Philly. So nice to be in the city again. Chris keeps urging me to keep my eyes peeled for Elie. I hope we get to see him. I hope he makes us dinner. :-) We went to a yummy Asian (but not too Asian) restaurant for dinner. I love being out the city! Yippee! Actually we were Chestnut Hill by then, so out of center city, but still nice. I guess sort of like being in uptown in NOLA. We have our little neighborhoods. Today I cleaned and cleaned. It took me all morning to do the kitchen and the floor, and then I did the stairs and hallway which still had mud (from moving, I think?) on them. But I used this stuff that squirts Murphy's right on the floor and then you mop, but it left a residue, so I'm going to have to go back over it. After a quick chat with a lady from Calvary helping with decorating for Anneke's wedding, we are now at Mom2's office. After which, we're going shopping for something for me to wear to the wedding. Yippee. I hope we get a Christmas tree tonight, too. This is a rare moment to catch a computer up here. They don't have one set up in their new house yet, if they'll even bother having one set up in their house. It's nice being with my in-laws because it's like Chris is there all the time. We can talk about him and they know him, whereas at my parents it's easy to slip in the role of being a kid again, and I'm always the one to bring up Chris, and they don't much to contribute along the lines of talking about Chris. I hope Chris gets better soon. Some robutussin for his pnd, I think, would do the trick if he would just listen to me! :-) only 3 more days and he comes. Yippee!

2002-12-16T23:13:00.000-06:00

Oh blah. And my abstract didn't get accepted from the AMS chapter meeting. Dr. M was pretty upset with the committee, wh. she was on (and thus couldn't vote for mine, since she knew it was me). She told me later that it was an old musicology/new musicology thing and she thought my abstract far surpassed others that were accepted. I think I understand, but I also think the Dr. M has inflated view of my potential.

2002-12-16T23:08:00.000-06:00

Ha! Hooray. My post did go with Dec 16 because I have my time set to CST.

2002-12-16T23:07:00.000-06:00

Oh drat. I had hoped I finish that post before the clock struck twelve, but it looks like I just missed it. I must needs to go to bed, and that post for all intents and purposes goes on Dec 16. Good night!

2002-12-16T23:05:00.000-06:00

I shouldn't be so gloomy about being with my fam. I just miss Chris, and feel so sad that I'm not there to help him and take care of him. I'm having a nice time, though, here. I made more snowflakes for the Christmas tree, and it's so pretty. Hmm. How many times have I been lazy and used the word "pretty"? I don't care right now. As I was growing up, my mom and I always have played music together. From the time i was around 7 and she taught me to play recorder. And we played duets and sang duets. We used to sing the flute and violin parts to one of the Brandeburg Concertos by Bach (I think 5) in the car along with the tape. But as the years progressed...especially throughout college...I think I've surpassed her. I used to look up to her to provide performance guidance. Now I can see all the mistakes she's making. I can read better, I can play recorder better, and I have more knowledge about what to do with a vast variety of music and have greater appreciation for more complex music. It's kind of weird. Sometimes I get upset and impatient when I want her to play stuff and she doesn't get it as fast I do. But I think now, to some extent, I just have to be content with it as it is. She's not getting the PhD in music related field. So obviously it's not going to be the same and I can't expect her to keep pace. But I also need to be more humble, and allow her to express her direction even though I think it might be expressed better differently. This evening we went over for tea and cookies at my parent's Amish friends, Sylvan and Sadie Stoltzfus. This live just around the corner. Luisa is good friends with their daughter, who's about her age. They gave Luisa an Amish outfit that she wears when she goes over there. I think they got a kick out of her. I don't know why she wears it...probably gives her a feeling of playing a part...like being in a real life play. They're a really fun family, but I always feel a little weird when I go over there. I mean, Mom had 5 kids and leads a fairly traditional life, but here I show up without my husband and stammer out something about still being in school. So foreign from their way of life. It's interesting going to their house. I don't really know why my preconception of an Amish home is, or even what somebody else's is, who hasn't had any previous contact with Amish. But it's kind of tacky. A big open room...kitchen, livingroom, with a big dining table in the middle. Gas lamps. Minimal decorations of the tacky plastic and pipe cleaner sort. A party mix made out of doritos, cheetos, tortilla chips and pretzels. Cookies served which are Ritz crackers, with peanut butter between and dipped in chocolate. The whole experience is hardly elegant, but it's friendly and welcoming. And the Ritz/peanut/chocolate thing is actually kind of tasty. They have 5 kids. The oldest is a girl (13? 14?) and then 4 boys. They're kind of indulgent with their children. Maybe it's just them, but I don't think so...Amish aren't as strict as you'd expect. They really get a kick out of our family. So it was fun going over. I cut Mary's hair this evening. Always an interesting experience. I think it looks pretty good this time, though. I'm still trying to grow mine out, but my spirits are low about it right now. If only I could just tuck it behind my ears!

2002-12-16T13:35:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting here in a freezing cold living room at my parent's house in Pennsylvania. I wish my mom had made a fire before she took a nap, because it is quite drafty in here. And I haven't a clue how to make a fire. I think I'll probably curl up and take a nap. It's nice being here, but I really wish that I hadn't rushed up here so early. I needed another week at home. And I'm mortified to have left Chris who is so sick!! I hope he goes to the doctor, because he said his glands are now swollen. We have health ins now, so it shouldn't be a big deal. And we're having a horrible time trying to finance this car from Desire St who is breathing down our necks. And Hal lost our rent check again. But it was late anyway. So he wants a late fee, which he's kind of capricious about charging. (But I think if he loses the rent check, he shouldn't bother about a late fee). (He's totally capricious about everything. He's a stickler for what's coming to him, but doesn't give a damn for all the problems and the leaks in our leaky, leaky apt. The screens have fallen off, the pipe from the toilet to the wall is almost disintegrated, the kitchen ceiling is falling down, the front room wall is chipping off...) I feel so helpless up here. Chris needs my help. And i'm so tired, but he is so sick!!!! I hope he's taking care of himself. Mom and Mary and I got their Christmas tree today and decorated it this afternoon after going out for breakfast and driving around the county. It's pretty. Mom wanted handmade ornaments this year, so I made a snowflake. It's pretty. I miss New Orleans, probably because Chris is there. I came up here too fast. I didn't even get a chance to see the lights on St. Charles!! I'm so sad. It's cold here. Blah.

2002-12-13T13:28:00.000-06:00

I found Whole Foods yesterday! The new one on Magazine, and I am in love!!! As I was walking through it I kept wanting to shout "Yay!!" It was so cool. So much good food. And a lot of hte prices weren't as bad as I thought they were going to be. And yummy samples. I tasted organic dark chocolate and cheese made from sheep's milk. I'll definitely be going back there...the quality of the produce was just great! I'm so excited!! I made those wonderful Gianduia Brownies (hazelnut brownies) to have when the ladies came over. So yummy. And I get such a kick out of baking molten chocolate. Ooooh! Gotta run...finish shopping

2002-12-12T08:21:00.000-06:00

I am bound to be in a better mood today. I've been in a funk for hte longest time. Argh. Christmas cookies started, house becoming clean, sigh. Now off to for some shopping.

2002-12-11T09:03:00.000-06:00

Hmm...I'm trying a new template, but I can't seem to get it to apply to archived posts...

2002-12-11T08:52:00.000-06:00

Hooray! I got an A in ear-training!!!! I think I just might be able to get a 4.0! which is incredibly exciting. My grades weren't my strong point during my time at Cov, but at least I managed to stay above 3.0 then. I'm pretty much done with my sem. Good feeling. Nice not to have to have to go to Baton Rouge for another 5 weeks! Insanely long break. I think they must have an intersession. In the meantime. I'm going to clean my dirty, dirty house and make Christmas cookies and stuff for Chris to eat next week. Our Christmas tree is up. Chris had some boys over all Sat afternoon, and they had that tree up and decorated in no time. But as I look at it, I think the lights are quickly burning out. I should remember to pick up a new strand. And Betsy made me a wonderful paper chain for above the door that goes onto the porch, and it is so festive looking!! I'm sad I have to leave so early. I used to like to go to home as early as possible for Christmas, because all the decoration and excitement is there. But now that I have my own home, I want to be here with my decoration and excitment. Aaaah, time to breathe. Maybe we'll go down St. Charles tonight and look at the lights....

2002-12-06T13:11:00.000-06:00

I think I had a mild anxiety attack today. Well, not really. But close. I think it was this Bach stuff. We've been studying Bach in Baroque, and I had to teach him. And I have negative associations because of Mr. Friberg. That I started to get this feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach and I had difficulty breathing. When listening to the B minor Mass, I enjoyed it but also experienced the concurrent desire to run from the room screaming. It was weird. On a good note, we aced our sight-singing exam. No more solfege for me!!! hooray!!!! (unless if I have to teach it. blah, blah.) At least no more ear-training class for me. And I'm glad.

2002-12-05T09:51:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was so warm and balmy, but the rain brought in a crisp day today. Positively shivering outside. I'm happy because then I can wear my happy red scarf with my new happy red shoes. I finished Howard's End yesterday, in the car on tape, that is. I think it is one of my favorite books ever...up there my My Antonia by Willa Cather. I think it is even better than A Room with a View. It seemed more mature than ARwaV. Grasped society and the struggles of society better and more poetically. I should read up a bit about E.M. Forster. Everything of his that I've encountered has deeply moved me. About the only thing I really know about was that he was gay, but then so was Foucault...so was Tchaikovsky, for that matter. I wish I could handle language like Forster. HE was such an amazing novel. You can talk about socialism and capitalism and imperialism and all that until it gets very dull in technicality. He put persons to these ideas and played out a scenario in wh. the ideas were carried out. In the classroom they remain ideas, but he made them real. Though "real" doesn't seem le mot juste. He vivifies the ideas? No, that seems too jolly. I don't know. Ah well, I suppose I shall recover. Ha, I just remember what we used to call this feeling of being affected by art..."phased". I'm very much phased at this point. Anyway. My next book on tape, which I have started this mornign, is a good ol' PG Wodehouse Jeeves and Wooster. I really detest American novels. Deep down I'm a Europhile. Except, how can I argue that My Antonia is my favorite novel? (or at least on of them, I'm dreadfully disloyal when it comes to settling on a favorite). All right...I should settle down to my solfege...fa,fi,sol,do, ti, do...

2002-12-04T09:58:00.000-06:00

Ahhh. My morning cup of tea initiates my headache free day. I'm going to go home this afternoon and clean my house so that we can put up the Christmas tree. The annoying grad student across the hall is talking football again. I've never heard such pointless waste of conversation. And my ultimate pet peeve is when folks talk about "we" when talking sports..."we just need to improve our offensive and the game is in the bag". Well, most likely the person talking isn't going to do anything. The team needs to improve their offensive, and he is not part of the team. Please do not say "we"! It is not you, rather some false identification. The team could care less about the sentiments of you the lay person. And you are not going to do anything to improve their game. So why waste perfectly good brain power talking about something as pointless as people (men) crashing into one another in an semi-organized fashion. Baroque is cancelled today. Dr. M. is sick. It's a day like today that makes it feel a waste to come up here. Makes it feel a waste to be here at all. It's a good thing they're paying me to come, otherwise I might feel disheartened altogether. In some respects this place is a huge disappointment. It's been awhile since I've felt the thrill, the spark of learning. The closest thing that has occurred to that has been my notation class and that is sadly over. Our final project a simple 16th c Credo movement. Actually it's just hte first part of the Credo...not even the whole thing. Well, I'll try not to complain too much until I hit next semester. I'm sure this will be much more challenging and worth the 80 mile bother next semester.

2002-12-03T17:13:00.000-06:00

Oh. And I think I've nailed the source of this headache I've had since Saturday. Caffeine withdrawal. I haven't had caffeine since Friday. And a cup of good British at the Hamilton's just now seems to have done the trick. Good grief...what am I coming to!?

2002-12-03T17:11:00.000-06:00

Well, after my mournful rantings of earlier today, I decided to head over to Loyola to check out a couple of Christmas CD's. Sort of hoping I'd run into friendly faces yet at the same time dreading saying "hi" to only recognizable faces. So over I went. I was just gloomy and punchy enough to have the guts to pop over to the office of their token musicologist (they actually have a second now, but I don't know him). We had a great chat...almost two hours! About everything under the sun...in musicology, that is. Two hours of musicological chat. It was inspiring, and I feel a certain groove again. Much more ready to prepare my lecture for tomorrow. So off I go!

2002-12-03T09:53:00.000-06:00

It seems odd to just go back to school and start it all. I'm never going away for Thanksgiving again. I never really have much before. Thanksgiving was the holiday to stay home, spend the day with friends, be quiet, and prepare for the roar of the end of the semester. I feel ill-prepared. My momentum is lost. Even my small end of the semester is thwarted. The pain of my infection has subsided, but I still feel weak from the stress of it all. I've had this bear of a headache since Saturday that I just cannot shake. This morning I walked slowly from the parking lot to the building, even doubting my spiffy red shoes. I can't remember what I'm supposed to do here. Why do my lives have to collide so drastically? I miss the life I had at Covenant where school, family, friends, and church all meshed so neatly into a nice little life. Here I feel jerked about between family, church, Desire friends (no offense, Betsy, since I think you are my sole reader), and school. Yet school is so important. It's not just information but a way of interacting with the world. I can understand why an academic gets sucked so far in. It's much easier to deal with it all if you never leave. I feel that I must spend a whole day remembering what I do here. This past weekend was a nightmare, and I feel that I have woken up exhausted and not knowing where I am. Just a week ago I was so excited about thoughts, words, ideas. What were they again? Argh. How incredibly frustrating!! Why can't the world leave me alone?

2002-12-02T17:17:00.000-06:00

My red shoes came today, and theyare brilliant!!!

2002-12-02T14:57:00.000-06:00

Home again. That was the worst Thanksgiving I have ever had. We're exhausted. I'm battling a urinary tract infection. The house is a mess, and I just want to put up my Christmas tree!! On a positive note, though, we had a wonderful time with Chris's grandmothers and parents. It was good to have time with his Nana especially, because my only previous interaction with her was a brief hello at our wedding. We had a wonderful time at the Christiansen's in AL coming home. Wish we spent more time there. Neither of us wanted to leave, and Chris has been so wonderful this whole weekend. I feel so weak. He even has offered to go to the grocerty store.

2002-11-26T20:44:00.000-06:00

She loved it. Of course she did. Okay...now to try bold and italics And a link to my website.

2002-11-12T23:11:00.000-06:00

phew! I do believe that draft is done. Though I'm afraid to read through it, because I just don't feel like messing with it again tonight. And I have a couple more weeks until it's actually due. And I can't the stupid software to format the bibliography right. Argh!

2002-11-12T16:29:00.000-06:00

Almost done with the rough draft. There was a violin concerto on the radio on my way home last night. It was really engaging, good melodies/themes and the development of them. INteresting rhythms...don't want to forget it. Korngold's violin concerto. (At least I think the announcer said Korngold...it was the lady with a British accent and sinus troubles) I think I'm going to get the red shoes.

2002-11-08T11:40:00.000-06:00

Today's word of the day seemed so appropriate to my current existence: matutinal: having to do with morning; early. That is my life.

2002-11-07T14:03:00.000-06:00

Hanging around the Hamilton's I get to hear wonderfully handy British everyday words. I love the word "peckish". There's not in American to equal it, and sometimes it's just that word that suits how you feel. Sometimes I am just a little hungry, which is a little bit more than "i've got the munchies", wh. is more like eating because you're restless or bored. But I'm not hungry enough for a meal...or even just a sandwich. Peckish is so useful. I can use it for: I have a little rumbly in my tumbly but I'm not terribly hungry. It's something an apple or granola bar can satisfy. I don't know...maybe in England, peckish means more like "I've got the munchies" than I care to admit, but I really like it for in between munchies and the need for a meal. Hungry for a snack, I guess is the equivalent. Not totally committed to your hunger, but it is definitely present. Yes, I've been studying all day and recently satisfied my state of peckishness.

2002-11-07T07:19:00.000-06:00

It's deliciously cool today. It actually feels like fall. Sunny and cool. I have so much bumbling around in my head after last weekend, that it's overwhelming to sit here and think of getting it all out in one session...that, and I have a midterm tomorrow and a rough draft of my paper due Monday and another notation assignment due Monday. One thing I can say, my sides are still sore from laughing so hard. It was such a great time with Joanna and Matt and Dr. Steele. But now I better hurry off to Baton Rouge...

2002-10-29T22:23:00.000-06:00

There is something disconcerting about driving 3+ hours in the pouring rain for a one hour ear training class. That's how I feel. So I scooted home after ear training with grand ideas of getting a lot done. I dawdled some. Household stuff is tempting to do, and then I spent hours on notation, but I think I got it this time. I always feel panicky before a trip. My mind rehearses my every movement as if all I do is part of some kind of list of things not to forget. Even taking milk out of the refrigerator...my brain goes through and intentionally thinks "don't forget to put it back in the refrigerator". As if I would forget something so rote by now.

2002-10-28T22:46:00.000-06:00

It's so humid...so hot. Too hot for late October. The headline on weather.com says "Early Winter", but it sure doesn't feel like it. The candy corns in the bowl are melted, the towels are still damp after 24 hours, the blanket on the bed is damp. Damp, humid, sweaty, sticky. I saw the forecast. It's supposed to get cooler...it's hard to fathom. What is even harder to comprehend is the forecast for the weekend in Columbus, OH, where I'll be for AMS. Snow showers predicted. Amazing...It's hard to fathom snow. It's confirmed, though; I'll need to bring my coat. I'm starting see in breves and semibreves. My notation class has a tendency to consume me after awhile. I was playing this evening with the early music group, and I could almost see the original notation...I intuited what had to have been done to create what was on the page. It was kind of a weird feeling. I'm tired. I feel daunted about my paper. I have to write this paper. I'm scared to write it. I'm apprehensive about living up to their expectations. I don't feel like I'm working hard enough on it. I probably shouldn't have gone to early music tonight (though it was good practice for my gamba playing). I had lunch with Dr. M again today, and she raved about me to people around the table, and I really wanted her to stop, because I feel like I haven't done anything good since my SIP. And I've been coasting along on my SIP for all this time. I need to set a goal. Tomorrow I will try to write three pages on what I've researched so far.

2002-10-24T09:15:00.000-05:00

Ooops--a few corrections. I don't want to edit the post, because I think the mistakes are funny. "the cloude LIE thick" not "like thick"...do they lie thickly. That sounds like someone saying "sickly" with a lisp. and "to actually close"...split infinitive! "Listen, Lucy! Three split infinitives!" Cecil in A Room wiht a View

2002-10-24T09:10:00.000-05:00

I'm enjoying a few moments at home, and a second cup of tea. I ate an oatmeal cookie instead of making oatmeal. I've decided to make a boiled egg, wh. I think is one of the most comforting foods ever. New Orleans in the fall. It's such a difficult phenomenon to describe. Some days speak very clearly to the sub-tropical climate we're in...a warmth that makes crisp northern days swishing through colored leaves seem a faraway story. But other days, like today, wear the decadence of the season in a thick, cool, dampness that sends chills through me. Hence, I nurse a cup of tea. The clouds like thick on top of the city. The weak breath of a breeze sends it cool fingers through our open windows. I shiver, but don't want to actually close the windows, because if the sun burns through the clouds a bit, a breathless stuffiness will opress our little apartment. I hope it stays cool like this all day. It puts me in the mood to study, and it makes tea taste so good. Hmmm...I wonder if my boiled egg is ready...

2002-10-24T08:00:00.000-05:00

Hmm. It's hard to know what to say. I'm tired and feel debilitated by cramps. I can't face the drive to LSU today. I just can't do it. Spend 3 hrs in the car for an office hour and one hour ear training class?! I'm so tired, I think I'll fall asleep. Yesterday I was a big champion for the Stupids. And my Stupid Self seemed to raise its head around Dr. H at each occasion, wh. made me feel insecure. {Brief pause...it's official. I just called up to LSU to say that I'm sick and not coming. It's not worth it today. Esp since I'm making an A in ear training} Ok. It made me feel insecure because in the academic world you've got to produce. My dept is wonderful. It definitely, without a doubt, could be a lot worse. But I'm still establishing myself there. They have high hopes for me, and I feel the necessity to produce great stuff...papers, assignments and stuff. I'm working on my first paper for them, and I'm really nervous about it. It's actually for Dr. M and I'd have to really bomb before she thought it was bad. But still, it's my first paper as a grad student. Sometimes I second guess myself on my approach or method. I've just been reading and reading. I'm not really stopping to take copious notes or anything. Just reading. I actually feel like I'm getting more read than I have in previous papers where I stutter through books and articles b/c I take notes as I go. But I hope I'm getting the depth of information I need. OK. I think I'm going to go make tea and oatmeal. Sounds comforting.

2002-10-22T21:13:00.000-05:00

Quick catch-up: Friday> One of the musicology students had her dissertation defense, and flew in from Rochester NY for it. Dr. H thought it would be a good idea for us to go and see what we were in for. It was interesting. It was fun hanging out with former musicology students at LSU. It gave me a brief sense of continuity that I had been wishing for. In the evening we babysat the for Hamiltons. Saturday> Read most of the day for my term paper. Worked on notation. It was such a beautiful day...like spring. I cleaned the porch garden. Cleaned out dead plants and helped the reviving ones. We're in shape for a lovely winter garden. Chris and I wanted to see "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" but when we got to the theater it was sold out! We couldn't believe it, this movie has been out for months!! Anyway...so we went grocery shopping at Walmart instead...and got new Christmas lights and the full Christmas display up before Halloween (?!). Sunday> Spent the day at the Hamiltons. I was so tired, but it was pleasant. They had a girl from an OP church in Alaska visiting, here for a conf, and there was a couple from Grand Rapids on vacation and everyone came over to the Hamilton's after evening service. Monday> A busy day. School, school. Tuesday> Tired. That's today. Keeping on working on the paper.

2002-10-17T22:04:00.000-05:00

I've been coming home early everyday this week. I just can't bear to stay up at school, especially when I'm so tired. So Tue and today, I've spent more time on the road than I actually have at school...good grief. Chris and I went out on a date tonight. We haven't had a date in longer than I can remember certainly, but I think it was the beginning of August. We went to our favorite Mexican restaurant on Magazine street, then coffee afterwards on Carrollton. It's chilly here, really delicious weather. I love New Orleans in weather like this. It's not so oppressive a place to live. Spirits are up, rather than the dragging the heat induces. As it gets later, there's a musty feel of a smell in the air, perhaps the decadence of the season or the live oaks. I'm going to get a pumpkin this weekend. Time to plant my fall garden. I was telling Chris that there's something about the cool weather that makes me want to buy stuff for the house...he attributed it to a nesting instinct. Hmm. I don't think I would've labelled quite so primally.

2002-10-15T23:10:00.000-05:00

aaaah. So tired. I came early this afternoon and had a cuppa with the Hamilton's whom I haven't seen in a week. When I came home, I have been working almost nonstop on getting something written down as a kind of prospectus for my Baroque paper, and preparing to teach about Du Fay in music history tomorrow. Yay! My favorite composer. I hope I can fit in all I want to say. I must sleep if I'm going to be again good tomorrow...

2002-10-14T16:21:00.000-05:00

Monday afternoon. I happily arrived to a cooler NOLA last night. I had a layover in Atlanta last night. I always wonder if I'll bump into somebody I know there, and I did this time! Betsy B and her cousin were on the same plane coming back to NOLA. It was seven seats across, so we found 3 empty seats in the middle, and had a blast the whole way home (much to the chagrin of the poor lady in front of us trying to sleep, I'm sure..) I'm exhausted today. After fighting to stay awake there and on the way home, I managed to make it through the morning okay. I taught the two sections of music history. I thought it went well. There were some snoozers, but overall people seemed pretty attentive. I just love the material, too. I got to talk about the transmission of countenance angloise, Dunstable, fauxbourdon, etc. Got to have lunch with Dr. M. It's satisfying to have some one to chat with on occasion. Talked about Josquin/Du Fay, Tinctoris, and I got to tell her about the conf. Right now I'm too tired to think about using precise language. I think I'll get some tea, grab a book, and read until I fall asleep.

2002-10-12T21:08:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting in Stina's apt in Kent. Judy Collins is the radio, and I've just finished a comforting cup of Constant Comment, and due to the nippy cold washing over me, I think I could use another. We had a great drive back. We were tired, yet brimming with thoughts and discussions. Our journey was punctuated with Stina's quest to buy three $1 pumpkins from a roadside stand. Then she lost her cell phone while we were in the car. After pulling over so she could make a circumspect quest of the car, we drove off with her trash absentmindedly left on the roof. Laughing hilariously we contined our way back to Kent, driving by fallen-in barns and combines bringing in this year's harvest. Notes on Conf. Last night Bill McClay gave the banquet address. He greeted me like an old friend beforehand. It has been a couple of years, since my time at Covenant, that we've shared correspondance. Then the topic of our conversations centered around history some and my future grad career, mostly, (including his passionate warning to avoide Tulane like the plague) in addition to friendly discourse on music, based on my then practically part-time career as a cellist (now no longer existent). He invited Stina and I to sit with him during dinner, but there wasn't much opportunity to chat then. I bumped into him in the lunch line today, and he invited me again to sit with him. I enjoyed explaining a bit what musicology was and how I envisioned my work in it. He described his son's interest in music, and his son, a senior in high school, sounds like he has many similar sensibilities that I had at his age, so I encouraged him to consider musicology and to talk to Dr. Steele, who knows everything. I hope I can continue to keep in touch with Dr. McClay. He said that if he comes to NOLA in the spring, he'll contact me. His talk last night was inspring. He entreated us to "plant sequoias"...in other words, don't be content with the petty "laying of another brick", mindlessly perpetuating traditions, but rather plant something that will last making the tradition fresh for our own experience. This morning I went to another session about Christian scholarship. Dr. Hart and another church history guy who's at Westminster Sem in Philly and Beth Schweiger, who is my new hero, gave perspectives, mostly centering around and disdaining the idea that they do not do Christian scholarship. They all approached it in different ways...some more pessimistic than others. I appreciated Dr. Schweiger's comments very much. She seems to see her work as a Christian doing scholarship as an activity with the present and not the past...actively living out her faith by loving her neighbor and assuming a posture of Christian humility. What she writes will not be distinctly Christian, but perhaps how she interacts with the world in a present way will affect the bearing she carries into her scholarship. I resonated with her paper. I often get frustrated when people speak about "Christian music", when I want to say that we can have some Christians writing music, but that doesn't mean that they're music can be called "Christian music"...did it come to a saving Knowledge?? Likewise it seems with scholarship. I am a Christian doing scholarship, and as I attempt to be faithful in that, this will be portrayed in my faithful pursuing of what I perceive to be my vocation to the best of the ability that I have been given and loving my neighbor as myself along the way, and hopefully, God will give be the grace to act with humility in this process. Now for some more tea. Happy Columbus Day!

2002-10-11T17:25:00.000-05:00

I have spent my day scouting out the other European historians. My goal is to meet everyone in this organization who does European history and build solidarity for the Europeans. My journey along the way has proved very interesting, and I've met many interesting people, the most recent of whom are Mennonite historians advocating a lens of passivism in their history, illuminating very thought-provoking aspects of American history of non-violent alternatives, as well as regarding violent instances from a different perspectives. A response was given was Margaret Bendroth, a feminist historian at Calvin College, who gave insightful comments and helped me ascertain that passivism is a kind of advocacy history, much like feminism. On another note: It has been good to be with other Covenant folk upon hearing the news of Dr. Donaldson's passing into glory. Though I never had him as a teacher, I've known members of his family, as well as feeling a connection on the merit of being part of the Covenant/covenant community. I'm going to post this brief, yet moving, forward I got from Bry who got it from Dan Wykoff: "For those of you Covenant folk who haven't heard yet, Dr. Charlie Donaldson passed away this week. You probably all knew he has been suffering from cancer internally. A couple of weeks ago he took his medical leave from teaching. He has taught at Covenant for 32 years -- and never ever missed a class! When he walked out of his classroom that Friday for the last time, all of the faculty was lined up outside and saluted him as he walked by. Now he is standing on golden streets, or perhaps sitting in his mansion, or perhaps staring The Lord God Almighty in the face and worshipping Him in all His glory. Wow. Praise the Lord for His faithfulness to us and His undeserved love for us. One day we, too, will be there with Dr. Donaldson... " Now I'm going to go find a way to up my feet, wh. are permanently cold...

2002-10-10T17:17:00.000-05:00

There are something about academic conferences that makes my feet cold. Not the figurative "cold feet" of fear but literal feet that are cold. Maybe it's the manufactured air in very large rooms that makes you feel all clammy and yucky. My head hurts, my feet are cold, and I don't feel like I can process another argument. BUT I'm entirely exhilirated. It's fun to meet new people and chat with old friends at every break, to watch my friends develop as scholars, and to see my formers professors answer our stories with knowing grins. My paper went really well. There is about 90% interest in American history and 10% interest in European history, so only about 6 people showed up to the session I was part of. The other person was reading a paper examining an aspect of the Catholic/Huguenot debate in the 17th c. in France. We both, however, received very glowing and constructive feedback from our chair, and the people who attended our session seemed genuinely interested and intrigued. So it is over. My first paper. This morning, I read a couple of articles to regain some background knowledge. Perhaps I shouldn't have done that, though, as I was confronted with things not discussed in my paper, and I can't seem to remember the decisions of information I made in writing the paper. But I felt confident going into my session. As I began reading it, though, my first thought was "this is horrible, I can't believe I'm reading this public. what a lousy paper. how am I going to get through this." Then my passion for the subject took over and I began speak more confidently and earnestly. I think it was well received. And I'm very happy with it. I think I'm going to go change my socks and warm my feet.

2002-10-09T19:10:00.000-05:00

I'm having a great time with Austina and Mary. Yesterday A picked me up at the Akron airport. We walked around Kent, and saw the memorial for the students who died in the riot. There's even a bullet hole in one of the sculptures. It is nice seeing her life here. But it is very chilly! It's nice. Not too cold. Leaves just starting to change. Today Mary and Austina and I drove to Huntington, In. We took Hwy 224 west the whole way through the Ohio countryside, full of picturesque family farms, golden in autumnal glow..the fields stretching their hands to harvest. Many forgotten houses crumbling in dilapidation. Interesting signs. Amusing names of politicans placarded in people's yards. Happy, orange pumpkins roosting on frontsteps. We're staying in a dorm here at Huntington College. I don't miss this aspect of college life. I miss my husband and my home. I'm very tired. And I feel like I'm being shuffled into the mass of undergrads at the conference. I don't really feel pre-professional. But it hasn't even started yet. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel better. I read my paper tomorrow. I've been grading tests for Dr. Herlinger. These students are so dumb! I don't think they can think conceptually at all. Rather frustrating.... Well, maybe dumb isn't the most charitable word, how about disadvantaged. I hope Chris remembers to eat while I'm gone.

2002-10-08T07:28:00.000-05:00

Hooray! Today I ride an airplane. I'm brimming in anticipation. (I'm trying to think of other ways to say excited, because I think i use it too much, and therefore it is less precise.) I love riding the airplane. It's like how Luc (no, not Lyooc, Luc) at the beginning of French Kiss describes the rush of it all. I identify. I love the faster, faster, faster, and then...lift.... Truly amazing. Ok. I should go finish digging around the house trying to find the things I need to pack.

2002-10-08T00:13:00.000-05:00

I'm in utter state of panic. I can't find anything. There is not a needle in the house...I was going to hem my pants tonight. I can't think of what I need. For all I've gotten accomplished, I should've just stayed at LSU tonight and gone to the Emanuel Ax concert. I can't find anything!

2002-10-07T11:02:00.000-05:00

We didn't have internet at all yesterday. Couldn't establish a connection with the server. Hope it's fixed when I get home this evening. Thankfully, I remembered to print out my flight plans. I have a paper topic for Baroque!! YAY! That is THE most agonizing part. Well, maybe the second most agonizing part, the first of wh. is having to rewrite drafts, the second is choosing a topic. I'm going to do topic #2. My prof deemed #1 a bit too Renaissance. I like the idea of #2. I'm basically going to focus on the effects of humanism that led to the desire to create a musical drama expressive of human emotions...thus, we have opera, wh. signals the beginning of the Baroque era. Something in me cringes, though when it comes to periodization...the arbitrary designation of a set of dates as an era. It highlights a certain perspective, distorting those dates. like Renaissance...hardly a rebirth...more an ego trip. I prefer calling the Renaissance the 15th and 16th centuries. But then, Renaissance is such a cool word. Esp. if you say it the British way ReNAYssance...or the Fr way with the R rolled and the kind of nasal "ance"...very cool and donnish sounding. I enjoy driving out of New Orleans at 6.30 in the morning. Just barely light. As I chase the night driving west, I see the huge red helios globe rising in my rearview mirror. Before me are the marshes with a backdrop of darkness, the colors are vibrant, the white egrets shimmering set off by the grey sky and gleaming between the green grass. So beautiful.

2002-10-06T00:01:00.000-05:00

ooh boy. And I even figured out how to make the time zone right on my posts...

2002-10-05T23:46:00.000-05:00

Bummer...I knew it. No email this weekend. Paper topic for Baroque, 2 ideas.... * I'm interested in pursuing the work of the poet of Jean-Antoine de Baif and his influence on music...composers, etc. He hosted the Academie de poesie et musique in his home. They were interested in following classical ideas into poetry, wh. meant, to them, a natural extension into music. Baif infl composers--he saw that in order to achieve this union b/n music and poetry the value of the musical notes must be made to correspond exactly to the quantity of the syllables of Fr verse. (Isherwood great source here). Let to style musique mesuree ( i don't know how to do accents here). Composer infl included Maudit, Le Jeune, etc. I'm primarily interested in Maudit (or Mauduit as Grove online seems to call him...I'm not sure which is correct). Seems more scientific than le nuove musiche. I'm also interested in Mersenne on Maudit, etc. *BUT, as I was reading, I came across a quote that made me wonder how changes and developments that led to the Baroque occur? Why was there a Baroque? The quote is from 1969 British Academy lecture by Raymond Leppard entitled "Unexplored relationships between early 17th c venetian opera and contemporary music in France and england"...he said, "The desire to make music express the human condition, to reflect man's emotions rather than imitate the order of God's Universe"...surely the Baroque could not have happened without the tools and mindset developing from the Renaissance. Like the Reformation. It is always couple with the Ren..."renaissanceandreformation". Why not "renaissanceandbaroque"? Tools of research, interest in the classics, HUMANISM, a breakdown of the Roman Church, etc. these were things that allowed the Baroque to happen. I should be interested in pursuing that more historiographical avenue...

2002-10-05T15:25:00.000-05:00

(we were trying to figure out how to post to my website...grr) well, got the haircut. The lady this time wasn't really in tune with what i wanted...oh well, it's not horrible. Groceries bought. The day is slipping away, and I have so much school work to do! Watched great movie last night...Bread and Tulips. so fun! Italian

2002-10-04T21:48:00.000-05:00

anything in the post thing 2

2002-10-04T21:46:00.000-05:00

anything in the post thing, I guess

2002-10-04T21:33:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to think of what to write for my paper for Baroque survey. I had this great idea today of looking at the composer in Louis XIII's court Jacques Maudit. He is the last of the Academie of poetry and music (I think) that the poet de Baif hosted in his home...(sort of like the Florentine Camerata? was this a popular thing in the Renaissance?) I'm not sure if there's much information or enough info on Maudit, though. I want to do something kind of out of the ordinary or that people don't know much about...

2002-10-04T18:31:00.000-05:00

well, we did it. the house is clean. Still a few piles of papers to sort, but we are no longer living in squalor. i didn't get my hair cut yet, though. First thing tomorrow. Now off to make dinner... Good incentive for finishing cleaning...invite people over.

2002-10-04T11:00:00.000-05:00

haha! I just realized that the time it says you've posted is actually two hour earlier than the actual time. That makes me look a whole lot more industrious than I really am! ha

2002-10-04T10:53:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here avoiding the inevitable. Today is the perfect day to clean my house. I could work like crazy and get months of dirt outta here. I'm really dreading it, though. Maybe once I get dressed, have some coffee, and put on fun music, I'll get in the swing of things. I'm going to reward myself with a haircut when I'm done. I feel like a ragamuffin. I'm sad. I want to be in Chattanooga today. So many of my friends are there. Friends I haven't seen for a year now, at last year's homecoming. (oh no, this thing is doing that stupid nonscroll thing again...no, wait..whew) I don't know why it does that. And there's so many interesting things happening at Covenant today. There's the inauguration of the new president, whom I've never met, and interesting lectures by my favorite professors. And Lookout Mtn is so beautiful this time of year!!! It's cool there. It just feel like summer here now. Before it felt like super-summer, after the hurricanes it feels like normal-summer. If I email my friends, no one will write back, because they're all in Chatty this weekend. They are all probably drinking coffee at Greyfriar's! *sigh* Well, I'm lucky, really, I have a whole entire day to do what I've been wanting to do...clean my house. And that leaves me all of tomorrow to do school work and run fun errands. Oh! Today's the 4th! I know some bdays on the fourth...better go send some bday cards and get dressed and drink coffee and clean my house...